Tuesday, September 20, 2016

The tale of the strange birth certificate, a Runcible Greevey story

In this year of so much pure political fiction and outright lies, I offer this piece of pure political fiction (and outright lies) to amuse. It is the product of a late night wandering mind. Runcible Greevey is our detective he's working on a story that even our jaundiced reader will have a hard time believing. Here’s what he knows ...

It's springtime in the year 1943 and General Paulus has already been transported to Moscow. His German 6th Army is in collapse. Defeat at the hands of the Bolshevik Zhukov has left the German high command stunned. German prisoners have been dying by the score as they are force-marched through the late winter's bitter cold to labor camps throughout Russia. Only weeks before, Joseph Goebbels has given his famous speech in Berlin’s Sportpalast in which he calls for Total War and the extermination of the Jews. Hitler, for the first time, is worried. He is also reeling and furious. 

So, what does der Fuhrer do on that unusually warm April night in the Berchtesgaden? He turns to his lover Eva Braun, for solace, for comfort. The Fuhrer and Eva are together just that one night, but it is a night that would have consequences down through the ages. You see, Eva Braun got pregnant that night. Adolf Hitler would have a child. 

They hid it from the cameras. Eva was discreet, she didn’t go out in public hardly at all, and when she did, she clothed herself in a way as to not let on that she was “with child,” as the phrase used to go.

In the quiet confines of the Eagle's Nest, away from the prying eyes of the German public, only a few were allowed to see the newborn. Blond hair, this child suckled and cried as babies do, nestled in the Bavarian alps, away from everyone.

For the adults gathered around the crib, the war wasn't going well. Talk of defeat was punishable by the firing squad or the hangman's noose, but this didn't stop even the most senior generals from nervously fidgeting their cigarette as they contemplated the year ahead of them. 

What happened to that child has been the speculation of many for ages. This is where Runcible comes in. Runny has been working on this story for quite some time, and he’s been able to ferret out some facts. The child was a boy. This much Runcible deduced from Braun's correspondence with her family, letters captured by the American 3rd Infantry Division at the end of the war. We also know that during the first year of his life, he was a sickly child, often given to coughing fits. 

And we know this too. There were Nazi sympathizers in the American divisions responsible for the occupation of southern Germany in May and June 1945. These individuals existed throughout American units, including the 7th Infantry Regiment who first controlled the area in southern Bavaria that Hitler called his vacation land.

While the Soviets were racing onto Berlin in May of 1945, this child was still in the south. He was found by American soldiers and was identified as Hitler’s child. Sympathetic American Nazis in the U.S. Army had him transferred to the United States in one of the many Displaced Persons ships then crossing the Atlantic. 

It was the hope of both German and American Nazis that this child would one day grow up to reinstate the vision that the Nazis had had for Europe, and one day destroy his new homeland, the country that gave this person a chance at a new life as his parents committed suicide in a subterranean bunker in Berlin as the Russians closed in. 

Of course, finding a home in America wasn’t hard. The child’s handlers settled on New York City. It’s such an easy place to disappear, and at the end of the war there were so many people flooding into and out of all the boroughs. In Queens, New York to be exact, a family was identified. Sympathetic to the larger cause, they were more than happy to take in a child like this. They would provide this child a home and an upbringing. What he turned into, that would be up to him.

Papers were not hard to secure. All it took was a friend down at the Immigration Office, and bingo, papers magically appeared. Appear they did. Born in 1946, the documents say. That is what they say. Runcible Greevey is on to all of this, and his hard-charging sleuthing is exposing this now, just in time for us to know who this person is, who claims to be born in 1946. In 1946, that's what his papers say. But Runcible is on to him.