John Carter: A Truly Awful Film

It is nice to know that they still are making truly awful films.  I know, because I just saw one.  John Carter, a recent release based on an Edgar Rice Burroughs tale is the worst movie I've seen since watching Transylvania 6-5000 in a San Francisco theater in 1986.  Inexplicably, known actors show up in these flops -- Jeff Goldblum in that one, Willem Dafoe in this one.  Go figure.

What is enjoyable about these sorts of films is that they are so bad, any noise in the theater is actually a welcome distraction.  In 1986, it was a group of screaming teenagers sitting to my right.  Today, it was the sound of my snorting nostrils as I failed to contain my laughter at the total incomprehensibility of the film.   My only compensation for this -- the theater was entirely empty save for two other brave souls three rows ahead of me.

I imagine $40 million was wasted producing this pile, but I probably underestimate by a factor of ten.

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