Friday, July 31, 2015

And on the sixth day, He created global warming

If you ever wonder why our planet's environment is so screwed up, you ought to seriously consider getting very angry at God. I mean, basically, he told us to do it. In case you don’t remember how it all went down, here's the scandalous transcript of the meeting ...

26: And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth.
27: So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them. 
28: And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth. 
29: And God said, Behold, I have given you every herb bearing seed, which is upon the face of all the earth, and every tree, in the which is the fruit of a tree yielding seed; to you it shall be for meat. 
30: And to every beast of the earth, and to every fowl of the air, and to every thing that creepeth upon the earth, wherein there is life, I have given every green herb for meat: and it was so. 
31: And God saw every thing that he had made, and, behold, it was very good. And the evening and the morning were the sixth day.

Before my righteous indignation gets too high and mighty, I will point out that living in the wild is pretty brutal too, and I also like a cheeseburger once in a while. Still, "dominion over the fish of the sea" and the command to "replenish the earth, and subdue it"? I mean, folks, it might have made some sense in an Iron Age culture struggling to survive, but in case anybody bothered to notice, yo, Iron Age ended a while ago.

Ok, it's a Friday, so I'm going to end it here. But seriously people, let's show some upset here. I mean, can you believe this stuff?